You’re suddenly gagging for a bit of notice and kudos, aren’t you? Like a pigeon at a chip shop, you’re pecking every chance you get to grab the juiciest fry. Normally, you’re as sociable as a hermit with halitosis, but today you’re all over everyone like a rash. God help us. You’re eyeing up the big jobs, the ones that put a bit of weight on your shoulders. If you think a title upgrade will get you any more respect, well, go on then, give it a whirl, you deluded muppet. Lucky charm – a horseshoe. Hang it upside down to keep all the luck from falling out. Or in your case, to stop any more common sense from dribbling away.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!