Oi, you lot are looking at you to pull some ludicrously themed bash out of your backside. It’s gonna be a right ball ache, but a laugh. Keep an eye on your ticker, yeah? Take a wander for a good half an hour and drag your motley crew along for the ride. You can natter while you toddle and you’ll all feel chipper as a chipmunk on speed afterwards. Lucky charm: A rubber duck. Because nothing screams “I’m winning at life” like a tiny squeaky bath toy.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!