Gossip’s fluttering about like a fart in a fan factory, and though you might find some titbits as juicy as a Sunday roast, it’d be bloody wise to zip your gob. Not all the chinwag you’ll cop an earful of will be as sweet as treacle, and some nattering nincompoops will try to rope you into their tattle-fests. You wouldn’t want your moniker mixed up in their tommyrot, would you? Your lucky charm is a rubber duck, because just like it, you’d do well to let the rubbish roll off your back and keep afloat in all the bollocks. Plus, it’s a bit of a giggle to squeeze when things get too tough, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!