Blimey, you’re half a tick away from being swallowed whole by the nitty-gritty, and you can’t see the bloody forest for the trees! Do us a favour and take a foot off the gas, love. You’re taking every little thing so personally, it’s like you’ve got a PhD in overthinking. You’re about as laid back as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. All this tension’s making you about as content as a shag on a rock. Your lucky charm for the day is a pair of knickers with a clover design. Remember, they’re only lucky if you wear them the right way round. Wouldn’t want to get your luck all twisted, would we?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!