Oi, you might’ve noticed that your pal or love muffin’s been acting a bit off, like a pigeon in a cat convention. They’re in dire need of a shoulder to cry on, or at least a good pair of ears that aren’t full of beeswax. Be a dear and give ’em a bit of kindness, will ya? Sure, things between you two have been rockier than a barefoot hike up Ben Nevis recently, but a bit of TLC can smooth things over, just like a good pint does after a row with the missus. So if your aim is to bring back the lovey-dovey harmony, like a couple of tipsy carol singers, then get on with it, you soppy git! As for your lucky charm, it’s a teapot. Yes, you heard it right, a bloody teapot! Because nothing says “I’m sorted” like a good ol’ brew. And remember, the stronger the tea, the stronger the relationship. So keep it brewing longer than a cockney’s monologue.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!