Cor blimey, it’s a smashing day for hobnobbing with your mates. Just make sure you keep it as light as a Victoria sponge, alright? Some old codger at work or a fossil from your family tree will want to natter about something dead serious, but you’ll be as in the mood for that as a vegan at a butcher’s shop. Don’t let their doom and gloom bring you down, sunshine. Oh, and here’s your lucky charm: a stiff upper lip. Handy for when you’re dealing with all the nonsense life throws at you. Just remember, it’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot in a heatwave, but it might make you feel better.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!