Listen up, darling! Your body’s squawking louder than a parrot with a hangover. If it’s begging for a kip, don’t just plonk yourself in front of the telly with a packet of crisps, do something that actually chills you out. But if you’re bouncing about like a kangaroo on speed, then hop to it and get physical. Just remember, darling, we’re talking health, not hedonism. So, don’t go treating your body like a cheap buffet at the local pub, it’s your temple, not a bingo hall. Now, your lucky phrase, “Fortune favours the bold”, or as I like to say, “Fortune favours the bold and the beautifully botoxed”. So, go out there and be brave, sweetheart. Just remember to keep your plastic surgeon on speed dial.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!