Alright, listen up you cheeky git, before you throw a wobbly about that family or legal kerfuffle, give it a proper gander. There’s a chance some numpty’s cocked up the whole story and you’ll have to set them straight, probably with a verbal slap upside the head. Now, you’re about to go at some home sprucing project like a rat up a drainpipe, letting your creative genius run wild. Blimey, it’s about time! Been a while since you’ve done anything more inventive than picking your nose, hasn’t it? Your lucky phrase? “I’m as lucky as a two bob bit in a beggar’s pocket.” Yeah, you’re about as rare as a vegan at a butchers convention, but hey, it’s your lucky day. Now, stop faffing about and get moving!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!