Listen up, love. You ain’t the only lonely soul bobbing about in this sea of solitary sob stories. It’s a bloody pandemic of the blues, ain’t it? Like we’re all swimming in a soup of uncertainty and unease, and it sure as hell ain’t helping matters. Feels like you’re stuck on a never-ending merry-go-round, doesn’t it? Well, take a chill pill, darling. Allow yourself and the rest of these muppets some time to figure it all out. Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. Not that it’ll do much good, mind you. But it’s better than a kick in the teeth, ain’t it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!