Well, darling, you might as well shove your wallet in the freezer because today, the financial gods have buggered off on holiday. Making a purchase? About as successful as a vegan at a barbecue. Trading? You’d have better luck at swindling a three-legged cat out of its last tin of tuna. Any kind of deal you’re thinking of making would be as disastrous as a nudist on a porcupine farm. Money chat today will be as satisfying as eating a bowl of gravel. So, sit tight, love, and try not to do anything more taxing than counting your blinks. Lucky tip for you, sweetheart: Don’t spend a penny unless you absolutely need to. Like if you’re on fire and need to buy a bucket of water. Or if you’re in desperate need of a mirror to remind yourself how gorgeous you are, despite today’s financial fiasco.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!