Right, sunshine, you’re feeling about as perky as a deflated balloon, ain’t ya? Some cheeky sod, mate or neighbour – same difference, has thrown a spanner in your tea and biscuits and left you feeling flummoxed, like a fox in a hen house. And just to add the cherry on the cake, you’ve got some hefty duty looming over your head, like a seagull ready to drop a load. You’d rather be thinking about that as much as you’d like a tooth extraction without anaesthesia. Lucky charm: Keep a silver spoon handy. Not only can you stir your tea with it, but you can also use it to metaphorically gouge out the eyes of your problems. Just mind you don’t take out an eye – it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eyeball!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!