Oh, darling, you’ve been faffing about like a headless chicken trying to get those big ideas off the ground, haven’t you? Well, at long last, you can start piecing together those grand schemes of yours. With a bit of luck and a lot of elbow grease, you might just end up with something halfway decent. Just imagine it, a life that’s not only cushy but doesn’t involve tripping over your own shoelaces every morning. No promises though, love. Tonight, sit back, pour yourself a glass of something strong, and pat yourself on the back for not being a complete muppet. You’ve certainly earned it. Oh, and by the way, your lucky item for the day is a rubber duck. It’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot, but at least it’s a symbol of good luck. Or maybe it’s just a reminder to take a bath. Either way, embrace the absurdity, darling.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!