Alright, love, you’re in for a right knees-up this week, ain’t ya? Expect a good old chinwag, the kind that leaves your jaw aching more than a night with a cheap packet of wine gums. One of your mates, probably the one who couldn’t keep a secret if it were superglued to their lips, is bursting to spill the beans. But take it with a pinch of salt, alright? They’ve got a tendency to exaggerate, like a fisherman talking about the size of his catch. So, you’ll be left with a noggin full of thoughts, like a curry house at closing time. But don’t fret, all this gabbing and tittle-tattle is as good as a night in front of the telly with your favourite soap. And here’s a lucky little something for ya: Wear a pair of polka-dot knickers for good fortune. Just be careful not to get your spots in a twist, if you catch my drift!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!