Blimey, you’re feeling a bit randy for a runaround, ain’t ya? Got your knickers in a knot for a bit of footy, a stroll about town, maybe a good old chinwag with Mother Nature herself. But be warned, there’s a right old grump back at the homestead who’d rather you stay and watch the telly whilst knitting doilies. Oh, the domestic bliss! And just when it couldn’t get more thrilling, some jolly good news pops up about that work thingy you’ve been slaving away at. It’s only a small victory, but it’s enough to pop the fizz and have a knees-up. Just remember, don’t let the bubbly go straight to your noggin – we wouldn’t want Aunt Edna to see you dancing on the table again, now would we? Lucky bit for the day: Keep a sprig of rosemary in your pocket. Not only will it keep the moths away from your wallet, but it’s also said to improve memory. Not that it’ll help you remember where you left your dignity after that last celebration…

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!