Cor blimey, mate! This week, you’d best avoid anything that smells even slightly of a gamble, and stick to your regular humdrum grind. Some of the prats who pledged their word earlier might turn out to be as reliable as a chocolate teapot, and could toss a spanner into your plans and jolly co-ops. If you’re feeling as if you’ve bitten off more than you can chew, don’t get your knickers in a twist. Focus on the titchy tasks instead – it’s like chipping away at a massive kipper with a teaspoon, but at least it’s a start! Lucky tip: If you’re ever in a pickle, remember that a well-timed fart can distract from any awkward situation. Doesn’t work in elevators, though. Trust me.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!