Cracking the whip at a talent, love, might take donkey’s years – even more if you’re thick as a brick. But if you’re game, then be prepared for an uphill battle, my darling. It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing, but if you’re lucky, they might just start belting out a tune. There’s a glimmer of hope for some loot, a grant or scholarship, or something shiny. There’ll be buggers left, right, and centre trying to pinch your chance, but you’ll leave them in the dust, making strides like a gazelle in a tutu. Lucky charm for you? Try a horseshoe. But remember, you’ve got to hang it the right way up or all your luck will pour out. And wouldn’t that be a right kick in the crumpets!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!