Listen up, love! Here’s the cosmic craic: you’re about to dive headfirst into a team project, a bally ‘collaborative endeavour’ as they say. You’ll start off rather like a sloth on Valium, all cool, calm, and collected, inching forward with all the urgency of a tortoise on tranquillisers. Now your partner in this, well, let’s just say they’ve got the speed of a snail on a go-slow strike. At first, you’ll be all, “Oh, how lovely, they’re not rushing things.” But before long, you’ll be wishing you’d opted to go it alone faster than a vegan at a butcher’s convention. So, your lucky phrase for this week? “Slow and steady wins the race.” But in your case, it’ll be more like, “Slow and steady gives you the urge to beat your head against a brick wall.” So, remember to wear a helmet, darling, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!