Oi, get a load of this! A mate of yours is about to throw a spanner in the works and leave you gobsmacked! In a setting more crowded than the tube at rush hour, you’ll stumble upon a bloke or bird who’s as mad as a box of frogs but as fascinating as the crown jewels. Your chums are about to be as predictable as British weather, keeping you on your toes like a two-quid ballerina. Get ready, you’re about to cross paths with some proper oddballs! And for your lucky charm, how about this: A pair of old knickers. Granted, they won’t make you smell like roses but they’re as much use as a chocolate teapot for bringing you luck. Just don’t go around waving ’em about in polite company, you cheeky bugger!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!