Oi, mate, if you’re feeling about as lively as a wet weekend in Wigan, do yourself a favour and stick a pause on that nonsense. There ain’t no law saying you have to keep flogging a dead horse, especially if the bloody thing bores the pants off you. You’re not some sort of superhero, able to pull off top notch performances round the clock, so stop trying to be one. Chuck in any tomfoolery that’s getting on your wick. Tomorrow, you’ll be right as rain, and as cheerful as a Cheshire cat in a creamery. Your lucky phrase for today is “Bob’s your uncle.” Now, I’m not saying Bob’s actually your uncle, but if he is, maybe he could lend you a fiver. I mean, it couldn’t hurt to ask, right?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!