Blimey, your domestic sphere is as serious as a vicar at a vodka tasting! Chit-chat with your old folks is about as exciting as watching paint dry, and twice as wooden. There’s a whiff of mystery, like a fart in a lift, both at your crib and your nine-to-five, with hushed whispers making you feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. So, keep calm and carry on with your own to-do list, mate! And here’s a lucky tip for you: “Always keep a packet of crisps in your pocket.” You never know when you’ll need a crunchy distraction for your nosy co-workers, or when you’ll need to feed a passing seagull. It’s been known to work wonders, even if it does make your trousers smell like a chippy!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!