Right, listen here, you lazy sod. There’s a bloody opportunity to sign up for some fancy class or hitch a ride with your mates on a day trip – worth a gander, I’d say. Yeah, it might be a bit of a slog, a right royal pain in the arse, but it could turn out to be a right laugh. Plus, you could use a fresh scene, you’ve been stuck in the same old rut for yonks. Lucky charm: A rabbit’s foot. Not that it was very lucky for the bloody rabbit, was it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!