“Oi, listen up, you cheeky sod! Keep your gob shut if you’re just blathering on about cock and bull stories you can’t back up. Even your casual chinwagging will be put under the bleedin’ microscope. You’ve got some nosy parker on your tail, ready to challenge your every word and go Sherlock Holmes on every bit of tosh you spout.” Your lucky phrase for the day is “Silence is golden.” You might want to consider stitching it on a pillow or tattooing it on your forehead as a permanent reminder. Trust me, it’s a lot less painful than foot-in-mouth disease.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!