‘Tis high-time, love, to pester the gaffer or any other stuffed shirt with your whims and fancies. They might just be more keen than you’ve ever imagined to fawn over your demands. At the end of the day, you might even be gobsmacked by an offer someone chucks your way, like a drunk chucker at a darts match, missing the bullseye but hitting your pint instead. Lucky charm for you: a rubber duck. Why, you ask? Well, just because it’s more useful than a chocolate teapot and might float your boat when you’re up the creek without a paddle. And remember, darling, the only way a rubber duck can sink is if it’s weighted down by your sodding negativity!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!