Cor blimey, love and war are kicking off like a cheap firework display in your life right now. You’re trying to stop some daft pillock from making a decision that screams “I ate paint chips as a kid.” But they’re having none of it, acting like you’re worse than a nosy neighbour peering over the fence. There’s a message coming your way that’ll ruffle your feathers and knock your routine out of whack, like a fox in a chicken coop. You might have to change your plans faster than a politician changing their promises. And for a bit of a giggle, your lucky item is a rubber duck. Why? Because sometimes life is just as bonkers as a bath toy in a business meeting. Have a laugh, my love. Life’s too short for anything else.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!