Aren’t you just the bee’s knees at the office, swanning around like you’re the Queen of Sheba! Likely due to that latest group project where you acted like a dog with two tails, running around like a headless chicken. Don’t get me wrong, love, we all think you’re as useful as a chocolate teapot, but you’re still the cat’s pyjamas, aren’t you? Capricorns and Cancerians, on the other hand, are eating up your antics like it’s the last supper. They’re so far up your backside, they can see your tonsils. Oh, and here’s a lucky charm for you: a four-leaf clover. Not that you need it, you jammy devil. With your current luck, you could fall into a barrel of boobs and come out sucking your thumb.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!