You’ve got some high-and-mighty office type expecting you to play Chinese whispers on their behalf. If this message makes you feel like you’re dancing the Hokey Cokey on a tightrope, or you reckon it could turn your career into as much of a laugh as a soggy biscuit at a tea party, then here’s your advice – don’t bloody do it! It’s as simple as chips and gravy, darling. Now, your lucky phrase for the day is “Not on your nelly!” Use it when things get as sticky as a toffee apple in a barber’s chair. And remember, there’s nothing luckier than a rubber duck in a bathtub – unless it’s you, avoiding career suicide like a champ! Keep your humour dry, your wit sharp, and your duck squeaky, darling!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!