Blimey, you’re up for a chinwag that’s going to churn your guts like a dodgy curry. It’ll boot you past that squabble and onto the podium. You might be chuffed to bits now, but trust me, you’ll be kicking yourself later, wishing you’d tackled it differently. Someone’s going to end up feeling as left out as a vegan at a butchers. Now, hear this: your lucky phrase is “Keep your knickers on!” It might just save you from a spot of bother. Remember, it’s as useful as a chocolate teapot if you don’t use it!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!