Put a leash on your wallet, love. That “joint venture” of yours seems about as profitable as a sunroof in a submarine. Throwing money at it like confetti at a wedding is only going to leave you as skint as a naked mole rat. In this grand pantomime we call finance, being hasty is like pulling the pin on a grenade to see if it’s ripe. You wouldn’t ask a blind man for directions, so why would you speed things up without a map? And lending money to a mate? Well, that’s about as wise as teaching a fish to climb trees. You might as well flush your cash down the loo and watch it spin away like your common sense. Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover. It’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot when it comes to improving your financial acumen, but at least it’ll give you something pretty to look at while you’re digging yourself out of the fiscal hole you’ve so expertly created.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!