It’s not taken you more than a hot minute to realise you’ve been stuck with a band of lazy sods, who wouldn’t lift a finger if it were coated in gold. They’re about as useful as a chocolate teapot in a collective venture, and they’ve got about as much intention of putting in some elbow grease as I have of turning down a gin and tonic. Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist over their less-than-stellar support. Rather than moaning about them like a nagging housewife, see this as a golden opportunity, love. It’s your chance to tell them to sod off and go after your own dreams, alone and unimpeded. Now, here’s your lucky charm: a pot of Earl Grey tea. Why, you ask? Well, it’s as British as it gets, and it’s about as supporting as your current team. Plus, it’ll go great with the scones you’ll be having once you’ve told your so-called teammates to take a long walk off a short pier. Cheers, darling!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!