You’re picking up some proper wonky vibes from the blokes and birds around you. It’s got your knickers in a twist, hasn’t it? You’re pondering if there’s some chinwagging going on behind your back, or if they’ve been up to some dodgy business you’re totally in the dark about. It’s like a bloody episode of EastEnders, isn’t it? Lucky Charm: A rubber duck. Yes, you heard right, a rubber duck. Just because it’s ludicrous doesn’t mean it won’t work. After all, your life’s already a bit of a comedy show, isn’t it?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!