Steer clear of bickering with your crusty old bosses, the dusty academics, those slippery eels in parliament, and the boys in blue – it’s a right minefield out there, and you’re not wearing your wellies! Some argy-bargy could kick off, turning more sour than a pint of milk left in the sun, and it’ll do you about as much good as a chocolate teapot. Hold off on making any earth-shattering decisions until later in the day – you’ve got more chance of finding a vegan at a butchers than making a decent choice right now. Give yourself a break, pet, and mull it over – you’ve got about as much chance of rushing a good decision as a snail does winning the Grand National. Lucky charm: A four-leaf clover – just remember, it’s about as useful as a chocolate fireguard if you’re not Irish.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!