Shove those pesky duties under the rug, yeah? No need to have a guilt trip, mate. Instead, why not park your arse at a cosy pub and have a chinwag with your mates over a cheeky pint or two? Show some bloomin’ interest in the footy or, if you’re feeling cultured, pretend to appreciate some arty-farty bollocks. Or, heaven forbid, spend some quality time with the family – just make sure you’ve got an escape route planned. Follow that weird and wacky creative streak of yours – but remember, not all of us are Picasso, so don’t get too carried away, you muppet! Lucky charm: A rubber duck. Why? Because it’s as quackers as you are! Just remember, if anyone asks, you can always tell ’em it’s for your bath… they’ll never suspect you’re using it for your secret rubber duck racing league.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!