Blimey, puff out that chest of yours and blow your own trumpet already! You’ve finally clocked your breaking point, and trust me love, it’s about as stable as a three-legged donkey at a disco. You’re managing to juggle life’s dramas and curveballs like a flaming juggler at a petrol station. But beware, there’ll be a time when your feelings will come pouring out like a pint of stout down a barmaid’s cleavage. Lucky charm: A rubber duck. Why? Well, why the hell not? It’s as useful as a chocolate teapot but at least it’ll give you a giggle in the bath.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!