Cor blimey, the stars are all about your volatile mood swings this week, mate. It’s all down to how you react to others’ tittle-tattle and whether you choose to take on board their codswallop or not. If your job’s as exciting as watching paint dry, then take the hint, darling, and do one. Dull duties? Give them the old heave-ho too. Your health, on the other hand, needs a proper shake-up, like a bulldog in a washing machine. Separately, the stars reckon your lucky colour is ‘Invisible’. Gawd knows how you’re supposed to wear that, maybe try going starkers and see if anyone notices!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!