Blimey, it’s all kicking off around you, ain’t it? Change is buzzing about like a randy bee on a hot summer’s day. You’re not quite sure if you’re keen on it all shaking up like a drunk uncle at a wedding or if you’d rather it just bugger off back to how it was, like a bad smell. You’ve got this urge to blab out your thoughts like a gossiping hen at the market, and maybe that’ll help you make sense of your feelings, like finding a pair of knickers in a tumble dryer. Lucky item for you this week: A rubber duck. Why? Because when life gets tough, at least you’re not a toy duck stuck in a bath with a naked human. Enjoy that visual!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!