Blimey, you’re about to have a right barny at home, it’s going to be a proper kerfuffle. You weren’t planning on playing referee in your own gaff, were you? But it looks like you’ll be donning the black and white stripes and blowing your whistle. You’re buzzing like a dodgy fridge, juggling your problems like a tipsy clown at a kiddie�s party. But for Pete’s sake, don’t go all bull-in-a-china-shop now, you plonker, major changes are as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit right now. Your lucky number for today is 7. But don’t get too excited, it’s not like it’s going to help you win the lottery… unless you’re planning to buy exactly 7 tickets, then who knows, you might just have a laugh!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!