Cor blimey, there are moments in life when you’ve got to bolster your knickers, and then there are times you’ve got to try something a bit cheeky, a bit new. Knowing the difference could save your bacon today. Don’t cock it up though, or you’ll be up the creek without a paddle, wobbling like a jellied eel, lost in the fog of your own noggin. Your lucky charm is a rubber duck. Because let’s face it, when you’re up shit’s creek, it’s comforting to have a little squeaky companion to keep you company. Just don’t get too attached, it’s still a duck, not a bloody lifeguard!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!