Blimey, you’re in for a right royal kerfuffle over the dough before the rooster even crows, mate. But you, you cheeky git, you’ll still crack on with buying that new gaudy ornament for your gaff, won’t ya? Eventually, your roomie will grudgingly admit that you weren’t just spouting absolute tosh. Now, you’re pondering a fresh scheme to rake in more moolah. Give it a nudge, old bean, it’s not as daft as it sounds. Lucky charm: A horseshoe. But remember, it’s about as useful in attracting fortune as a chocolate teapot in a heatwave.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!