Blimey, I reckon you must’ve crossed paths with a black cat or a ladder recently, ’cause you’re due a fair dollop of malarkey! You’re about as prepared for the incoming kerfuffle as an eel in a sock race. At the same time, you’re more wary of an unexpected proposition than a nun in a cucumber field. To keep your knickers from getting in a twist, you’re keen on avoiding any sudden shifts, like a posh git avoiding a chip shop! Your lucky escape is donning a pair of undies inside out – a right royal fashion faux pas, but it’s said to bring good luck. Mind you, it also brings chafing, so apply talcum powder liberally.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!