You’ve got a right royal pickle with this new fandango you’ve roped yourself into, haven’t you? I bet you’d rather chew your own foot off than admit you’re as confused as a chameleon in a Skittles bag. But let me tell ya, love, keeping all that worry bottled up will leave you with more regret than a night out with too many tequila shots. If things aren’t adding up, and I don’t just mean your pathetic attempt at a Sunday crossword, then it’s time to don your detective hat. Get in there, stir things up, and let everyone know the truth, even if it’s as shocking as a nudist at a church fete. Lucky tip for you, darling: Never trust a fart after a curry night. It�s a bit like your current situation, you think you know what you’re dealing with, but you might just end up with a nasty surprise.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!