If some nattering nincompoop leaves you scratching your head like a flea-ridden mutt, keep your bonce steady, luv. Maintain the calm composure of a zen monk on valium when faced with a mate who’s spinning more tales than a tabloid rag. If it’s not their usual behaviour, give ’em a break. They might just be as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles, and not intentionally trying to lead you on a wild goose chase. Lucky Phrase: “Keep your knickers in a twist!” Trust me darling, it’s far more fun than yoga, and gives you that little element of surprise!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!