Blimey, there’s a right pillock in your midst, ready to muck things up proper. They’re about as satisfying as a cuppa without the biscuit. Perhaps you’ve hoisted your expectations higher than a London skyscraper. You’ve might’ve just got your knickers in a twist over a bit of tosh. There’s a nippers in the family causing a kerfuffle, bless their cotton socks. Mind you, be on your guard with the dodgy substances, nasty toxins and grub that’s gone off more than a cockney accent. Your lucky charm is a rusty horseshoe. Might not sound appealing, but it’s likely to bring more luck than that aforementioned pillock, innit?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!