Cor blimey! Looks like a family knees-up is on the cards, mate. You’ve got a head buzzing with ideas that could give the Duracell bunny a run for its money. You fancy tarting up your gaff, taking a jaunt somewhere, or throwing a bash that’d make the Queen’s garden party look like a teddy bears’ picnic. But steady on, Big Spender – don’t go blowing your wad on a chintz sofa or a round of drinks at the Ritz. Your bank account ain’t a bottomless pit, you know. And while you’re at it, sort out those dodgy pipes and sparky wires before your house starts resembling a scene from a cheap disaster flick. You don’t need a geyser in the loo or a disco in the living room, unless you fancy a visit from the fire brigade. Your lucky charm this week is a plumber’s wrench. Not only will it fix your leaky pipes, but it’s also a handy weapon if anyone tries to nick your newly spruced-up gaff. And remember, the only thing that should be shocking in your house is your jokes, not your faulty wiring.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!