Cor blimey, it’s about time you sling your hook from all that old tosh that just ain’t cutting the mustard no more. You’ve had some new experiences, haven’t you? Picked up a bit of this and that, and now you’re having a chinwag with yourself about what’s what. It’s got you all in a tizzy, re-evaluating your life goals and whatnot. Well, don’t dilly-dally about it, get cracking and make some changes, you old mucker! Lucky charm: A rabbit’s foot. Not that we’re condoning animal cruelty here, mind you. Just find a three-legged rabbit and ask him very politely for it. He’s probably not using it anymore anyway.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!