Blimey, you’ve got more on your plate than a fat bloke at an all-you-can-eat buffet, haven’t ya? There’s supposed to be a sidekick here, sharing the load, but they’ve scarpered quicker than a shoplifter in Harrods. All you can do, my old china, is keep bashing away like a one-legged man at an arse-kicking contest. But don’t fret, your graft won’t go unnoticed. Your efforts will pay off, even if it feels like you’re trying to squeeze blood from a stone. Lucky charm: A horseshoe. But remember, it’s no good unless the horse is still attached!

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!