Well, ain’t you just a ball of energy today, you little Duracell bunny! No mucking about, you’re on a mission to finish every single damn project that’s been loitering around like those last party guests who just won’t bugger off. Just remember, if you start feeling like you’ve been hit by a double-decker bus, don’t be a stubborn mule, take a breather. Go and have a cheeky walkabout around the office or do some of those bendy, stretchy things – just don’t pull a muscle, we don’t want to see you waddle around like a duck with cramp, it’s not a pretty sight. Lucky item of the day: a stapler. I know, it sounds about as exciting as a soggy biscuit, but you never know when you might need to staple someone’s gob shut.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!