Oi, listen up, sunshine. Your best mate or that numpty from work is about to drop the ball in a big way, probably can’t find it with both hands and a flashlight. They’re about to break a promise or tell a porky pie that�s so whopper, it could feed a family of four at a poorly planned barbeque. When you twig on to their little game of Pinocchio, don’t just sit there and take it like a soggy biscuit at a tea party. Stand your ground, y’hear? You’re worth more than half-price chips at a dodgy chippy, and don’t anyone tell you otherwise. No one should treat your feelings like they just stepped in them with their new trainers. Lucky charm for you: a horseshoe. But mind you, only if it’s not still attached to the horse. It’d be a riot trying to explain that one to the bobbies: “Well, you see, officer, my horoscope said�”.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!