Blimey, it seems your crew’s skint and they’re all looking at you to pull some dosh out of your backside. They’re all about as useful as a chocolate teapot, hoping to make a mint by yakking about it over a pint. Wake up, darlings! The Queen ain’t gonna start throwing her jewels at your feet just because you’ve got a good idea. Get off your lazy bums and start hustling. You need to get your mitts dirty and start cashing in on those cheques, not just writing them. Oh, and here’s a lucky charm for you: a four-leaf clover. It’s about as useful as a knitted condom, but hey, can’t hurt, right?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!