Oi, listen up, you muppet. Don’t let your better half or your freeloading flatmate drag you into some bloody shopping binge this weekend. If your other half’s eyes light up at the sight of some newfangled, shiny bit of kit or the latest tech upgrade, you might find yourselves tussling over whether it’s gold or shite. This is bound to ruffle a few feathers in your family hen house, and trust me, you don’t want to be the one stuck plucking them. Your lucky phrase for the week: “A fool and his money are easily parted.” So, don’t be a fool, mate! Or you might be needing a lucky escape from a shopping trolley headed straight for your wallet. Now, wouldn’t that be a right hoot?

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!