Cor blimey, love, you’re in a right pickle, ain’t ya? Domestic duties are cocking up your ability to keep your word to your chums and not cock up your job. It’s like trying to play darts in a windstorm, you’re all over the bleedin’ shop! Your noggin’s so full of family faff, you couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery. So here’s the rub, sunshine, quit faffing about and make time for all that home hoo-ha. And for your lucky bit, how about this: green’s your lucky colour for the week. Might as well wear it, love, ’cause with the way things are going, you’re about to turn as green as the Incredible Hulk with envy of anyone who’s got fewer problems than you.

Come back tomorrow for another exciting horoscope!